Toddler Truths

In celebration of my favorite two-year-old (today is the big day!), I'm sharing a few of my favorite hilarious J comments.


Watching the bath water go down the drain:
J: Bye water.
[waving]
J: Have fun!

As I was driving, frustrated and lost in a parking lot on UNLV campus:
Jessica: Oh gosh!
J: Oh gosh!!
Jessica: J, you shouldn't use mommy's language.
J: Mommy's language! Oh gosh.

Loading the dryer with wet towels:
Jessica: Wow J! You are so strong.
J: My body is amazing.

I was unloading the dishwasher before breakfast, Joseph walks into J's room:
J: What's mommy doing?
Joseph: What is mommy doing J?
J: Um....making collard greens.
Joseph: For breakfast?
J: Mommy making collard greens for breakfast!

Later the same day, just before lunch:
Jessica: J, what do you want for lunch today? Do you want a sandwich or leftover soup?
J: Collard greens!
[What child is this excited about collard greens?]

J playing alone in his room (where he CANNOT see me):
J: I see you mommy.
[pause]
J: I'll find you mommy.

The dinner table, grocery store, church, on a walk, etc. 
(He's referencing this traumatic experience from over a month ago.):
J: What'd mommy do?
[shocked look on his face, answering his own question]
J: Mommy spit out the pineapple on the ground in the mountains!
[Although I don't love being constantly reminded of my terrible mistake, I am proud that he can put together such a long sentence!]

After a successful day of potty training, while enjoying an ice cream cone:
Joseph: J is that delicious?
J: No. Ice cream cone.

Joseph comes home during lunch:
Joseph: Oh yum J! Is that jelly on your sandwich?
J: No. Jam.

At breakfast:
Joseph: J, is mommy nice?
J: No. Jessica beautiful! 

As you can tell, J is going to be a very sassy and know-it-all two-year old.