After finishing my doughnut in the hospital, the first time he's seen his new sister.
J: Do you like doughnuts baby Ellie?
[ pause]
J: Do you like airplanes?
After I'd explained that I didn't have a baby in my tummy anymore.
J: Make another baby.
To Joseph.
J: Make another baby too! At the doctor's office!
Obviously someone has no grasp of where babies come from.
Serenading Ellie.
J: Nothing known before. Love is a Grocery Stooooore!
J's adaptation of "Love is an Open Door" from Frozen.
After J picked out a monkey rattle for Ellie.
Jessica: J, what should we name Ellie's monkey?
J: Ham.
Jessica: Ham?
J: Ham is the monkey in space.
Jessica: Ricky racky roo. I love you. Ricky racky ree. You love me.
J: Ricky racky roo. I love baby Ellie! Ricky racky ree. I love me!
Running up to Super Grandpa, only to find him holding Ellie.
[ pause ]
J: Oh no!
[ runs away ]
Shouting at me under the closed bathroom door:
J: Elsa! It's me!
When we pray as a family, sometimes J wants to help. We've explained that we are talking to Heavenly Father and thanking him for all the many blessings we have. These are some recent things he is grateful for.
J: Thank you terrible cheese. Thank you happy cheese. (This is an everyday thing)
J: Thank you French book.Thank you other French book. (We have no French books)
J: Thank you fridge.
J: Thank you flowers at the church.
J: Thank you J's tummy.
J: Thank you J's belly button.
J washing his face in the swimming pool:
Joseph: J, are you shaving?
J: No. I shaved yesterday.
J: I HAVE AN IDEA!
[pause]
J: I'm Joseph! Joseph Pieper!
J: I HAVE AN IDEA!
[pause]
J: Go on Alaska Airlines with Mommy! [gasps] Tomorrow!
Reading a Spanish book with Joseph:
Joseph: That is a perro.
J: No! That is a brown dog.
Joseph: That is a gato.
J: No! That is a cat.
Joseph: Where is the caballo?
J: No! That is a black horse.
(Someone is learning Spanish whether he likes it or not!)
Jessica: J we're going to the grocery store because Mommy needs onions for dinner.
J: [gasps] Ooh! And cupcakes?!?
J: [gasps] Ooh! And doughnuts?!?
J: Sound good? OKAY!
Turns out a two-year-old can say some pretty hilarious things.
And sometimes some pretty embarrassing things, but I surely won't be sharing those things here. My apologies.
Coming up and looking at my tummy:
J: What's in there?
[sniffs]
J: Smells good!
Driving through Sagauro National Park (you know, the desert):
Jessica: J, see if you can find any animals out the window. Look for rabbits and turtles...
J: and fish!
Jessica: What color is your baby sister?
J: Black!
[He's seen the ultrasound, he knows what he's talking about!]
Sitting on an airplane:
J: Plane's engines fall out.
[dramatic clap of hands]
J: All dead.
[repeated over and over again over the course of our flight]
Singing the ABC's together:
Jessica: ... now I know my ABC's...
J: ... NO MINE ABCFGs...
Joseph pats J's bum as he walks by:
[J turns around dramatically]
J: HEY! Be nice to bums!
Looking out the window at breakfast:
J: Look! Look right there! A Llama! A llama upside-down in the tree!
Playing trucks, alone in his room:
J: Where are you going?
J: I'm going to look at seashells.
[pause]
J: I'm going to look at armpits. Bye!
In celebration of my favorite two-year-old (today is the big day!), I'm sharing a few of my favorite hilarious J comments.
Watching the bath water go down the drain:
J: Bye water.
[waving]
J: Have fun!
As I was driving, frustrated and lost in a parking lot on UNLV campus:
Jessica: Oh gosh!
J: Oh gosh!!
Jessica: J, you shouldn't use mommy's language.
J: Mommy's language! Oh gosh.
Loading the dryer with wet towels:
Jessica: Wow J! You are so strong.
J: My body is amazing.
I was unloading the dishwasher before breakfast, Joseph walks into J's room:
J: What's mommy doing?
Joseph: What is mommy doing J?
J: Um....making collard greens.
Joseph: For breakfast?
J: Mommy making collard greens for breakfast!
Later the same day, just before lunch:
Jessica: J, what do you want for lunch today? Do you want a sandwich or leftover soup?
J: Collard greens!
[What child is this excited about collard greens?]
J playing alone in his room (where he CANNOT see me):
J: I see you mommy.
[pause]
J: I'll find you mommy.
The dinner table, grocery store, church, on a walk, etc.
(He's referencing this traumatic experience from over a month ago.):
J: What'd mommy do?
[shocked look on his face, answering his own question]
J: Mommy spit out the pineapple on the ground in the mountains!
[Although I don't love being constantly reminded of my terrible mistake, I am proud that he can put together such a long sentence!]
After a successful day of potty training, while enjoying an ice cream cone:
Joseph: J is that delicious?
J: No. Ice cream cone.
Joseph comes home during lunch:
Joseph: Oh yum J! Is that jelly on your sandwich?
J: No. Jam.
At breakfast:
Joseph: J, is mommy nice?
J: No. Jessica beautiful!
As you can tell, J is going to be a very sassy and know-it-all two-year old.
